Day 13

Day 13: Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don’t have to send it.

I don’t really know who I would address it to.  Maybe to the people who try to understand, but really in the end fail miserably.  Or to my mother who won’t accept my bisexuality, but is totally alright with me going out with different guys.  To the people who slut shame, because they think they are funny (psst – you’re not).  To the friends who tell me monogamy is the right choice.  To the friends who ask me what is wrong when I only want to be with one person.

I am not hurting anyone by being poly.  It is my choice. I can fuck who I want.  I can love who I want.  If I want to love one person, but fuck four – my choice.  I know the difference between love and lust and sex and friendship.  I can make those decisions.  No one except the people I am with need to understand my situation.  If my partner(s) don’t want to be poly they don’t have to be.  If I want to just be with one person then I can do that too.  I’m not going to say people with seven kids are bad people, so why do people call me awful things when I have two lovers?  Do you love each child less as they come along? Or only give your love to one child at a time? No, you find a way to spend time with each of them.

My life, my choices.  Good or bad.  In the end I am really only hurting myself.

 

~Ivy

Day 10

Day 10: What involvement have you had with any groups or organizations?

 

When I last lived in Alberta a couple poly lady friends and I got together and decided our city needed a poly group.  So we created one.  We started out with about 9 members, and in the last year it has grown to over sixty (according to our fb page).  We also started a group blog, but that hasn’t been updated much.  One left because it was too public for her (ie she was upset that someone challenged her views) the other hasn’t updated much because she’s busy I guess, and my reasons are because I didn’t want to be part of it anymore.  I think about it from time to time, but really I don’t agree with it being a place to whine about poly life.  It should be about advice and support.  At least for me it was going to be.

Since I moved away I haven’t been to any of the poly events.  They are hosted pretty regularly, and there are all kinds of fun events.  I’m really glad it took off!

~Ivy

Day 2

When did you first realize you were non-monogamous? What was that experience like?

 

I don’t recall when I actually realized it fully, but it was always there. From when my mother first told me “You don’t have to just be with one person”.  I know she ment, at the time, that I shouldn’t jump into a relationship right away, but for some reason I have always taken it as I can have as many partners as I wanted.  I didn’t really start to practice polyamory until I was in my early 20’s.  Over the years though I had cheated on partners over and over and over again.  The first time was when I was 13.  I was dating some boy, and while I liked him well enough I also really liked this other girl… Once I fully realized that I was poly I felt a lot freer.  Like I could finally be myself.  Poly and bisexual.  It was a dual coming out really.  I was pretty proud of myself for sorting that stuff out.  It hasn’t always been easy, and sometimes it’s really hard. In the end though, it is always worth it – for me.

~Ivy

Tomorrow I Go!

I head out tomorrow.  Totally nervous.  For lots of reasons.  Seeing Laine, school, maybe seeing other people.  Just ugh, what if I fuck in in school? What if things blow up in my face.  What if what if what fucking if?!

Tokerbell gave me a great pep talk tonight, that helped.  I’m getting my laundry done and my books together.  Then packing, some tv on my lappy.  And to my pillow zone aka cuddle fortress.  Damn could go for some real cuddles!

On another note, I am feeling slightly proud of myself for maintaing a daily blog.  Sure, a couple days of bad/short blogs – but come on! MIGRAINE!! Still made it!

~Ivy

Damn Right!

First Aid course done! Next EMR!!! Then not sure.

I was complimented on my knot tying skills and my folding skills.  Both have absolutely nothing to do with my being a good first aider.  I would have to thank my old mentor for the knot skills and my anal retentiveness for the folding.  I will, and have, take down all the sheets at work and re-fold them to make them look nice.  And yet, my own bedroom is a freaking mess.

Glad my kink came in handy in class.  Lets see how the EMR stuff goes.

Two more days of work (fucking Valentines day crap) then a day off.  Getting my hair done, going to do my first exam for my course and get my pre-reading done.  Yep, excitement central around here ladies and gentlemen, and people of all genders.

Tonight, I rest.  Eat Cheetos with chopsticks and read a book.  Oh and chat with cute girls online *tee hee*
~Ivy

Bad Daily Blogger!

So its been a bit.  A while? A long fucking time? Yeah, close enough.

Pride…well the second night I met this cute redhead.  Turns out she did this article on me a while back for one of the newspapers here in town.  I thought she was cute then too, but then *BAM* there she is and its pride and and and…and she has a bf.  But she’s bi and cute as cupcakes! We’ve been hanging out a bit and she came longboarding with me last thursday.  Then went out and bought a longboard hahaha Got another one hooked!

I walked off my housekeeping job.  There three weeks and just walked off.  I won’t tolerate abuse.  In any form.  Well unless its asked for.  No, really.  As in “please hit/spank/yell/fist/etc me” haha  ‘Kayso this supervisor at work thought that it was acceptable to just yell at people when something was wrong.  Granted may of the other girls would just yell back but I just ignored it for a while.  Finally I got yelled at one to many times and just left.  Bad Ivy.  Now I am jobless again and a bit worried about stuff.

Wednesday I am leaving for Vancouver to attend a information night about Nursing at UBC.  Im pretty excited.  I think this year I will be applying for nursing as well as Midwifery so that I have more school options and another career path.  I will even be applying to schools in Ontario, thats how fucking serious I am about this shit.  Gawd Damn!

On my way back to Nelson I will be picking up a friend and we will go play at Ikea then I will drive her back to the ‘Loops then spend the night.  This gal is pretty cool.  She hung out with me a lot at Shambhala and I really appreciated her company.

On this trip I will also be meeting up with my illicit affair.  I think.  Not ready to talk about him yet though.

I guess thats all the catching up I have to do on this blog.  More tomorrow…

I Shaved My Legs For This?

My very first pride.  Tonight was my first pride event.  I left early.  I was alone, and the people I did know there are like 12 (ok 22ish) and I didn’t feel like playing Follow The Leader.  So after a few hours of being by myself I messaged my uncle and rode around in his cab for a while.  I was SO excited for tonight, I was hoping to really meet people at this Meet & Greet / dirty bingo/ dirty drag night.  Nah.

Tomorrow is another event, I will try again.  If not I may avoid the pride dance on Sunday.  Its $25 and for someone who’s living hand to mouth ATM thats a lot of money to spend for a bad night.  Just Sayin’